Sometimes it can be so lonely

Why is it when you have a miscarriage, that people seem to just fade away?  They don't call, they don't email, or fb you anymore.  It is such a lonely thing,  They tell you their praying, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it. 

People seem to just fade away, into the unknown.  They stop checking on you.  They stop asking  They stop making you feel like they care.  They expect you to just pick up the picks and move on.  But it doesn't work like that.  How do you pick up the pieces of losing a baby, much less 2 and just move on.  It feels like their telling you to move on and your leaving your Sweet Angels behind.  I can't do that.

I am doing better with the day to day stuff.  Things are getting done.  I am getting out more, and having some fun.  We are doing more things as a family and enjoying our time together.  I am learning to trust God and leave my future in his hands.

I just people would show they care more.  Call, email, or fb.  Come and hang out with me.  Do something and show you mean it.  I know I am not alone with feeling like this.  I think losing a baby is such a lonely sadness.  People just don't understand.  What we lost was not just a person, it was our baby.

I pray that God will continue to heal my heart and continue to carry me through this journey.  I can't do it without God  I can't breath without God giving it to me.  God is my passion.

As far as the blood work my OB had done to see if we can find out why we've lost 2 babies, we're not getting allot of answers.  Most things are showing up as negative, which is awesome.  And a couple things that are showing up positive aren't big because they aren't showing up with other symptoms that would give us cause to worry.  God is answering our prayers by showing us so far, that nothing has caused the miscarriages.  Why is that good?  Because that means we shouldn't have anything to worry about.  That means that the miscarriages was a God thing.  God has a reason for letting our Angels leave so soon.  And it isn't caused by something my body is doing or not doing.

That gives me peace.  I've had allot of peace through the waiting process.  We've got more blood work to do and waiting on answers.  And I still am waiting to see my OB on Feb. 1, 2012.  We'll see if he can give me anymore answers.  But for now, we're told when we're ready to start trying to stop preventing it.  We can.  So that is good.

So that is about it.  Just feeling lonely.  But I am grateful for the few true friends that still show they care.  And I blessed to have a God that never lets me go!

Christi