Holding onto the Faith

Well, Aunt Flow came again. And I was bummed. But I know God has a plan. And I have to trust that. I chose to trust that.

I have the promise from God that He is in control. We are not promised tomorrow and I am not promised another baby. I have to continue to remind myself of that. I have to remind to love the babies I do have, and just continue to pray for my heart's desire and trust God to full fill what is Plan is for my life. But I choose every day to love the and shower the babies I have here with my hugs and kisses, and not dwell on what I don't have. Right now, I do have a baby growing in me, and sadly I may never have another one. Not because my body can't carry one, not because my body can't conceive, but because unless it is God's Will, it will never happen.

I am grateful that God has blessed me with the 7 babies I have. So many women don't even get 1. And when God calls me home, I will get to see the 2 Heavenly Babies waiting for me. I am grateful that God loves me so much, that he sent his Son, Jesus, to die for me. I don't deserve the love God gives me. I don't deserve the forgiveness He freely gives me everyday.

Well, today is Valentine's Day. It is our 12 Valentine's Day together. Last year at this time, we had just landed in Richmond, Va. Hubby had a business trip and I got to go along. We had left the kids with his mom for the 3 days/2 nights we'd be gone. We got a call when we landed, that our Van wouldn't start, and she had to get the kids in 2 trips. What a surprise, our Van was once again broken. Well, that was the last time our Van worked.

We spent the next month looking for a newer Van. We finally agreed on a 12 passager Van. We love it. Nothing special, but it fits our whole family. We thought that the last 15 months of dealing with that lovely Van that kept breaking down was bad, and a few other things that had happened the in the couple years before. Oh were we wrong....

2 months later, we found out we were pregnant. Only to be thrown in a nightmare, of losing that baby 3 1/2 months later. And than found out again we were pregnant. And then 2 months later, lost that baby. Boy did we find out how hard life really could be. We have learned that we can get through anything with God. God has carried both of us through allot of the past almost 7 months. We have both grown so very much. We have found out how much we truly love each other. We have learned so much about the other person.

So this Valentine's Day, is just a day. Nothing special. Because we have spent the last 7 months showering each other with love and support, to just try and help each other cope.

Christi