On Wednesday, it marked 8 months since we said Goodbye to Isaac, and then today it marks 5 months since we said Goodbye to Sweet Pea. I pray that after the 1st year Anniversary for both, that each month won't be so hard.
I love my babies all 7 of them. I miss my last 2, but rejoice with the 5 God has blessed me to have here.
Not much has been going on. Not pregnant yet and hubby is working more. He has been travelling more. But I am grateful that God has blessed my Husband with a job, that allows me to stay home.
So what has been going on in your life? Anything good or bad you want to share?
We did have something sad happen this week and I stop and think about it. A fellow Twin Mommy lost her Battle with Cancer on Friday. She battled bone cancer for 7 years. She left behind a step daughter, a step son, and twin boy/girl that will be 11 in April. She also left behind her Husband. She was a strong Christian Women and was an awesome friend! She is truly be missed!
Christi
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Tigger Targets
Mom's that have lost a baby or babies have trigger targets that make our heart hurt. The sooner we know them the better, and we need to stay away from them. Now some of those are hard to avoid, but we try are best.
Some of my trigger targets are blogs that are done by mom's that are pregnant or just had new babies. It is hard to read their post. When they talk about being tried of being pregnant, or that their tired of the morning sickness and so on. Makes me so upset. Because I would love to still be pregnant. I would give almost anything not to have lost 2 babies. And here are these pregnant momma's that are complaining. Any email from groups I am on, that have to do with a pregnant momma's, get deleted right away. Because they are also trigger targets. They make me sad, and cry. I just can't deal with it right now.
Another trigger target that is harder to control. Seeing pregnant mom's around. Seeing those big bellies makes me want to just throw up, because it causes that much stress. It is so hard and just have to tell myself to turn the other way and walk away. I try to remind myself to thank God that they still have their baby and didn't lose it like I did. Sometime it helps, and others not so much.
I have been noticing that their hasn't been allot of pregnant people at my church. Which is easier on me. But today alone, I saw at least 4 or 5. At the church my kids go to Awana's at there at least 2. I try and avoid them all. I have too. It is too painful. I think partly because I am reminded that I would still be pregnant with Sweet Pea if we hadn't lost him 4 months ago. Just a painful and sad reminder of all that I have lost.
So I am learning to stop reading those blogs, I am blocking those people on FB, and I am avoiding anyone I see that is pregnant. It is what I have to do right now to survive.
Christi
Some of my trigger targets are blogs that are done by mom's that are pregnant or just had new babies. It is hard to read their post. When they talk about being tried of being pregnant, or that their tired of the morning sickness and so on. Makes me so upset. Because I would love to still be pregnant. I would give almost anything not to have lost 2 babies. And here are these pregnant momma's that are complaining. Any email from groups I am on, that have to do with a pregnant momma's, get deleted right away. Because they are also trigger targets. They make me sad, and cry. I just can't deal with it right now.
Another trigger target that is harder to control. Seeing pregnant mom's around. Seeing those big bellies makes me want to just throw up, because it causes that much stress. It is so hard and just have to tell myself to turn the other way and walk away. I try to remind myself to thank God that they still have their baby and didn't lose it like I did. Sometime it helps, and others not so much.
I have been noticing that their hasn't been allot of pregnant people at my church. Which is easier on me. But today alone, I saw at least 4 or 5. At the church my kids go to Awana's at there at least 2. I try and avoid them all. I have too. It is too painful. I think partly because I am reminded that I would still be pregnant with Sweet Pea if we hadn't lost him 4 months ago. Just a painful and sad reminder of all that I have lost.
So I am learning to stop reading those blogs, I am blocking those people on FB, and I am avoiding anyone I see that is pregnant. It is what I have to do right now to survive.
Christi
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